Relationships are not always a bed of roses and feelings of butterflies. There might come a time when you and your partner don’t seem to be as happy and in love the way you used to. You might have been getting into a lot of misunderstandings and fights over petty things. And as the time goes further, you have come to realize that, somehow, you are drifting apart little by little. Could your relationship be any better?
Do you still feel the joy of falling in love with someone? Well, you are probably reading this now because you think that the relationship you are in is lacking something. Couples do sometimes reach that certain point, but it’s okay. There is still a lot you can do. These 9 effective ways will guide you out and help you have a better relationship with your partner.
1. Every little thing matters
A simple text in the morning, an encouraging message or an endearing call during breaks at work or school can give the support and motivation your partner needs. It may seem just a pinch of an act, but it actually means a lot. You also don’t have to wait for an occasion to buy presents for your partner. You can do it anytime you want without the need of expecting something in return. It is a significant way to show how much you appreciate your partner and how grateful you are for all you’ve been through together.
Every single thing does matter even if it seems too little. When you pin your girl’s hair right behind her ears and you tell her she is beautiful or you give your man a quick massage because he is overly exhausted after a tiring day at work and you tell him “You’ve done a great job!”, it would be something that your partner would be thankful about.
On the other way around, you’ve got to be sensitive to what your partner does and learn how to show genuine appreciation. Say “thank you”. Give your partner a kiss or a hug. Your sense of gratitude will also encourage your partner to not tire out of doing random things that make you happy and eventually, will both make you happy. Just don’t forget to always wallow in the importance of appreciation.
2. When arguments arise, make the first move and apologize
Don’t let your relationship veered off course with the arguments that come your way. It is pretty normal for couples to argue at times due to misunderstandings and issues with money or family. The pressure at work and differences with personalities may also trigger fights that could end in resentment and anger. But in situations like this, we always have the tendency to withhold forgiveness and wait for the person who wronged us to make the first move and apologize. Do you feel the same way when you get into a fight with your partner?
Do not let pride get in the way. Some couples find it difficult to admit their mistakes and apologize. But when you let these feelings of anger and hatred linger, it will just make things worse and scars might take longer to heal. Resolve the problems immediately and one way to do so is say you are deeply sorry. Admit your mistakes and work hard not to do it again.
What if you’re not the one who started the argument? Should you make the first move and apologize? Yes, definitely. You’re making the first move not because you are surrendering your dominance, especially when you are the guy. You’re asking for forgiveness because, somehow, you have said or done something that hurt your partner’s feelings in the midst of the argument. It also puts out the fire and makes the situation calm. And when it is, the communication between you and your partner gets better and you can discuss the issues without agitation.
3. Be a good listener.
Relationships require an open communication. When your partner confides about personal matters, that’s the time you have to listen carefully. Your genuine interest in your partner’s situation can provide comfort and a sense of security knowing that there is someone your partner can depend on even in the most difficult times. It also builds a strong foundation of trust.
Women talk a lot and they tell everything in detail. Men, on the other hand, does otherwise. They want to go straight to the point. Nonetheless, both parties should be considerate of each other’s feelings. Be patient and listen to what your partner has to say. Your partner probably has a lot of things going through his/her mind and venting everything out to you would minimize a heavy burden.
4. Always make time for your partner.
No matter how busy you are, you always have to make time for your partner. Although social media has been a useful way of connecting people, it should not be your main venue to talk with your partner. Set a time on the weekend for a date or go out for dinner together after work and talk about how things had been all day.
When your partner is going through health issues issues or feels stressed due to pressure at work or other personal problems, this is when you should exert an extra effort to give your time and companionship. Go out and talk it over coffee. And when you have set appointments with your partner, do not delay and keep on rescheduling, unless it is amicable. Making time for your partner despite the busy schedule shows how much you love and how important that person is.
5. Do not forget to make your partner feel loved all the time.
You can always express your affection through words and gestures. It seems a cliché, but holding your partner’s hand while heading somewhere is not an old-fashioned gesture you have to let go. Kissing or hugging him/her on random moments or sharing your coat when it is cold and your umbrella when it’s raining; these gestures are just some of the simple ways to show your deep affection.
You don’t need to set up extravagant preparations to show how special that person is although some find it the best thing to do. You can try it if you think it’s an effective way. But making your partner feel loved and special comes from how much you know him/her – what your partner likes and dislikes. Even the most sincere “I love you” and “I miss you “can truly matter.
6. Surprises work like magic
As what they say, a relationship is a never-ending courtship. You always have to find ways to keep the fire burning. And if you let the creativity work on you, it will spur timeless fun between you and your partner. Surprises have had a long record of keeping the spark in a relationship and it paves the way to deeper intimacy, affection, and incomparable joy. A bouquet of flowers, a cup of coffee, tickets to her favorite movie or his favorite baseball game – anything could be a great surprise! It indeed burrs a lot of fun when you do something your partner least expects it!
7. The key is to forgive and forget
When an argument arises, couples do have the tendency to dig in their heels and recall every single error that their partners did. It is like keeping a list of mistakes and they just have to cross them out or add another score where your partner does it again. Relationships should never ever be like that. Everyone has their own flaws and if you keep on pointing them out, it won’t do any good. You can even get yourself at a greater risk of depression, discontent, and anxiety. Remember, you have your own flaws, too.
When your partner does make a mistake, perhaps due to poor choices, it is important not to refute you partner’s words and drag him/her down to the ground. When your partner wrongs you, sincerely forgive and totally forget it. Some couples harbor resentment and anger and find an opportunity to get even. Learn to forgive, let go, and move on.
If ever you get offended, ponder about the consequences that would take place when you take an action. Always ask yourself if it really is necessary to discuss the situation or maybe you can just overlook the situation and let it pass, especially when it is not too serious. One more thing, never ever argue and settle everything through texts or social media. Handle the matter face to face.
8. Work as a team
Your partner is your best friend. When you’re making decisions that can affect your relationship, consult your partner and talk things through. Making consultations before you make a move or decide about something shows respect and that your partner’s opinions truly matter.
It is also wise not to use dogmatic statements and directive languages to prove your dominance. Deep respect is truly essential in a relationship. Working as a team will help you and your partner cope with any circumstances that will come your way.
9. Always find the harmony in each other’s differences and imperfections.
Do not revel in a fantasy of what most dramas and movies portray. Just because you have a lot of things in common, already means you are compatible, soulmates, and a perfect match. Those who believe in such fantasy find themselves disappointed eventually because their high hopes and expectations in a relationship didn’t turn out the way they want it. The truth is: you are both imperfect and you still have a lot of differences. The key is to find the harmony.
Being compatible with each other doesn’t mean you have similarities and no disagreements but rather how you deal with each other’s differences and imperfections. Just as how two different instruments sound utterly good when musicians play them together, you and your partner can harmonize if you get your traits and personalities in tune.
Understand the fact that you have flaws, too. Always find the good in your partner. Do not insist what you like, but share activities and interests because your partner enjoys doing it.
10. Every Relationship is a Working Progress
When the relationship seems hopeless, don’t be. Even those couples who are deeply in love can still argue and disagree with each other at times. Although misunderstandings and quarrels do happen, there is always a solution.
As every relationship is a working progress, sometimes, you need to find out what would work and what won’t. To keep the love afire, with all your time and effort, everything that we’ve mentioned is some of the effective ways to win your partner’s heart and make your relationship better.